Tuesday 30 December 2014

Best WhatsApp Satus for New Year

  • Do not be afraid to step on people... Mario made a career from it.
  • I just want to die young as late as possible.
  • Keep Smiling & One day Life will tired of upsetting you :)
  • If i had the world in mah hands, i'd give it all to you :) 
  • If a hug tell how much i love you, i would hold you in my arms forever.

Tujhse Roo-Ba-Roo Hokar Baate Karu

Tujhse roo-ba-roo hokar baate karu,
Nigahe milakar wafa ke waade karu,
Thaam kar tera hath bethu tere samne,
Teri haseen surat ke main najare karu,
Sharma kar najro se tera kuch chupke keh jana,
Teri nigahon ke wo ishare samjhoo,
Teri har ek ada par kar doo kayi shayari,
Har lafz mein waafa ke daawe karu,
Sambhale nahi sambhalti ‘jaana’ ye dil ki tadap,
Tu hi bata main kab tak yu aahein bharu…

Santa in Mela

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha "Dekhne ke 20/- Rs."
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha "Karne ke 10/- Rs."
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.

Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha -
Santa : "Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?"
Admi : "Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!".

Monday 29 December 2014

Best Happy New Year 2015 WhatsApp Wishes

1. For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice

And to make an end is to make a beginning

Happy New Year 2015

2. My Wishes in 2015

God gives you.

12 Months of Happiness,

52 Weeks of Fun,

365 Days Success,

8760 Hours Good Health,

52600 Minutes Good Luck,

3153600 Seconds of Joy..and that's all!

3. Genuine success comes only to those who are ready for it. So never step back and always have courage to accept new challenges. Wishing you a very happy new year.

4. Let’s gather around and celebrate the dawn of sparkling New Year. May it bring gifts of joys, good health and surprises. Best wishes for a Happy New Year.

5. Wishing you a fabulous 2014

with full of great achievements and experiences.

A meaningful chapter waiting

to be written Happy New Year!

6. When The Clock Strikes Twelve On December 31st,

People All Over The World Cheer And Wish Each Other A Very Happy New Year.

For Some, This Event Is No More Than A Change Of A Calendar.

For Others, The New Year Symbolizes The Beginning Of A Better Tomorrow.

So, If You Look Forward To A Good Year Ahead,

Spread Happiness With These Wonderful New Year Wishes.

7. Let's party coz it's New Year time. Celebrate Happy New Year 2015 with me all the night, so that we can end the year together and start the new year together.

8. May this New Year give you the courage to triumph over your vices and embrace the virtues.

9. The New Year gives you fresh 365 days to play with – fill them up with whatever your heart desires so that you have no regrets at the end of the annual cycle.

10. This new year take a new plunge into the ocean of hope and optimism and free yourself from all your grudges, sadness. Cheers to 2015.

11. May the year 2015 greet you with days as fragrant as roses, as colorful as rainbow, as bright as sunshine and as happy and cheerful as a lark.

12. Before the calendar turns a new leaf over, before the social networking sites get flooded with messages, before the mobile networks get congested, let me take a quiet moment out to wish you a wonderful, happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

13. As the new year going to start. 

I wish may the good times, 

live on in our memories. 

and may we learn lessons, 

from the troubling times. 

That will make us stronger and better than ever.

14. This New Year my wish for you is to dream big, but be satisfied with the simple blessings that life has gifted you with; to make mighty plans for the future, but never to ignore the little joyous moments of the present.

15. May light always be around you, hope always surround you. May your wounds fade out; heart embrace kindness, love and wisdom. May smile never leave your lips and a healthy glow stay on your cheeks. May all your desires turn true; this is my New Year Wish for you.

16. We may not be in touch with each other always, but I always have you in my prayers and wish for you all the very best in your life. Happy New Year!

17. This new year message has nothing much to say but to request your lips to stretch a little and brighten this world with a sweet smile.

18. Just as you make each of special for the people around you, I wish that the New Year turns out to be a very special one for you filling each day with peak of health, abundance of happiness and sunshine, bountiful luxury and prosperity and Zen like serenity.

19. Leave behind the demons of the past and look forward to a brand new start in 2015. Happy New Year.

20. May the new year bring tremendous joys and infinite reasons to celebrate in your life. Wishing you a very warm and happy new year 2015.

21. Before the countdown for the New Year begins, I wish you forget all the sorrows behind and have a promising and fulfilling New Year ahead.

22. Before the golden sun sets, 

2014's calendar is destroyed,

And mobile networks get jammed,

I wish in 2015 every moment is enjoyed

23. As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you addition of meaningful chapters.

24. Shine like a sword in the armor and rise like the Phoenix each time you fall. Have a great 2015!

25. Raise a toast to rejoice new beginnings and new horizons that will herald with the beginning of New Year 2015.

26. A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body and Heart full of Love. All these are my Prayers for You. Wish a Happy New Year 2015.

27. A day ends the worst memories and refreshes the new thoughts and makes a soul free to welcome a new day with full of joy and happiness. Wish u all a great and prosperous new year 2015.

28. A wishful way to greet people as the New Year begins. Slowly and steadily Year 2014 is creating space for year 2015 to step in. People are ready to cherish the memories of 2014, learn from their mistakes and make resolutions of not repeating them in the coming year.

29. No matter if every sunset steels one day from our life, but every sunrise gives us one another day to hope! I wish new hopes will always be a part of your life. Happy new year.

30. May you have a heart of courage,

A mind of will,

And may you get whatever you desire

Always at your will.

Happy New Year.

When you are alone

अगर आप घर में अकेले बैठे बोर होते रहते है तो घर में 
JK Wall Putti लगवाए ...
"दीवारे बोल उठेंगी " .
.
.
फिर खूब बतियाना

How to Make Nimbu Pani for 500 People

स्पेशल फार्मूला -
अगर पांच सौ लोगों के लिए
शिकंजी बनानी हो तो
दो ढक्कन Vim Liquid मिला दें
क्यूंकि नए Vim Liquid मेँ है
हज़ारों निम्बूओं की शक्ति...

Adhunik kal k dohe

आधुनिक काल के दोहे..
कर्ज़ा देता मित्र को, वह मूर्ख कहलाए,
महामूर्ख वह यार है, जो पैसे लौटाए...
बिना जुर्म के पिटेगा, समझाया था तोय,
पंगा लेकर पुलिस से, साबित बचा न कोय...
गुरु पुलिस दोऊ खड़े, काके लागूं पाय,
तभी पुलिस ने गुरु के, पांव दिए तुड़वाय...
पूर्ण सफलता के लिए, दो चीज़ें रखो याद,
मंत्री की चमचागिरी, पुलिस का आशीर्वाद...
नेता को कहता गधा, शरम न तुझको आए,
कहीं गधा इस बात का, बुरा मान न जाए...
बूढ़ा बोला, वीर रस, मुझसे पढ़ा न जाए,
कहीं दांत का सैट ही, नीचे न गिर जाए...
हुल्लड़ खैनी खाइए, इससे खांसी होय,
फिर उस घर में रात को, चोर घुसे न कोय...
हुल्लड़ काले रंग पर, रंग चढ़े न कोय,
लक्स लगाकर कांबली, तेंदुलकर न होय...
बुरे समय को देखकर, गंजे तू क्यों रोय,
किसी भी हालत में तेरा, बाल न बांका होय...
दोहों को स्वीकारिये, या दीजे ठुकराय,
जैसे मुझसे बन पड़े, मैंने दिए बनाय...

Girlfriend Boyfriend in Park

Ek Premi Joda Park Mein Bethe Thhe Aur Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe

Ladki Ne Apne Premi Ke Pyar Ki Parakh Karte Hue Us Se Puchha.

Ladki: “Agar Tumhe 8 Boobs Mile To Kya Karoge?”

Ladka Khushi Se Jhumte Hue: “Main Use Ji Jaan Se Dabaunga… Chusunga… Chaatunga… Uspar Latak Jaunga…”

Ladki Ye Sun Kar Gusse Se: “To Wahaa Udhar Ek Kutiya Soyi Hui Hai, Chal Jaa Aur Shuru Ho Jaa“

Sunday 28 December 2014

Laila catch Majnu


Laila ne majnu ko 1 ped k piche dekha or boli

Tum majnu hona?
Majnu bola ha,
Phir kuch der bad use jharioun k piche dekha to boli,
Tum majnu hona?
Wo bola ha
Phir kuch der bad use diwar k piche dekha or kaha
Tum majnu hona?
Majnu bola
HAAN
Haan
Mein Majnu hun
''potty" karne degi ki nahi..

Old Lady and Doctor

Old Lady to Doctor: Mujhe Gas ki problem hai par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na BadBu aati hai na Awaaz
.
.
.
.
Aap k clinic me bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki
hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala……
Doctor: Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 week baad aayiye.
(1 week baad)
Old Lady:Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di….??
Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aa rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi
hai
Doctor:Good..! ­ Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj karenge…

Facebook in 3 Idiot Style

Rancho: *Smiling*

Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?

Rancho: Bahot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi…aaj bana diya hai…bohot maza aa raha hai.

Teacher: Zyaada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai…
Tell me, what is a Post?

Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is a Post, Sir.

Teacher: Can you please elaborate?

Rancho: Sir…jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir…
Ghumne gaye…photo daal diya! Post hai Sir.
Match dekha, score daal diya!
Post hai Sir…
Sir actually hum posts se ghire hue hai sir!
Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick
tak! Sab post hai sir!
Ek second me comment, ek second me like!
Comment-Like…
Comment-Like…

Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge?
Comment-Like… Comment-Like…?

Haan Chatur, tum batao.
Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating systems using internet on Facebook is called a Post…

Teacher: Excellent!

Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi
bola seedhe shabdo mein…

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twitter ke pages pe account banao…

Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh…

Teacher: Get out!

Rancho: Why sir?

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar
jaiye.

Rancho goes out and comes back.

Teacher: Kya hua?

Rancho: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Rancho: A utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else…

Teacher: Arre, kehna kya chaahte ho!?!?

Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhool gaya tha.

Teacher: Toh seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!

Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir,
Aapko pasand nahi aaya…